The Beatitudes for Marriage
May 13th, 2012 Posted in Dr. Howard E. Dial | No Comments »“Love and marriage, love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage. This I tell you brother. You can’t have one without the other.” These words for an old song are, sadly, not necessarily true. We can probably think of marriages where love doesn’t seem to be a part of the relationship. But I think we would agree that any marriage could use more love between a husband and a wife. Is your love for one another growing? Has your relationship become a mere business partnership, a brother sister relationship, or an I-will-go-my-way- you-go-your-way arrangement? This need not be, nor should it be. Marriage is to be a live drama of Christ’s love for His church and the church’s love for Christ. Children in Christian homes should not be deprived of daily visuals of the gospel story.
In order for love to exist and mature, the spiritual well-being of a husband and wife must be a life-encompassing experience. What is the kind of marriage that meets with God’s approval? The word that expresses His approval is “blessed.” The word “happy” is frequently used as a synonym for blessed, but it is too limited. Happy is most often thought of as an emotional moment of pleasure which, like a giant wave, eventually comes crashing down on the beach and disappears. The state of blessedness is much more than mere circumstantial exuberance. It is a condition of the soul that is secure and hopeful. It is a life that is enriched by God. It is soul prosperity in the best sense. But how does one get there? Resolve to have a marriage that meets with God’s approval.
The poor in spirit are those who recognize their helplessness and total dependence upon God. I cannot be the kind of husband or wife God wants me to be without Him. Have you come to that moment of truth in your marriage where you realize that loving someone else as God wants us to love requires supernatural help? Have you cried out to God for grace to change the way you think about and relate to your spouse?
Those who mourn are those who weep over their sin and the violence it does against God, oneself, and others. When I am broken over my sin and repent, God will give me comfort. He is a merciful God to those who seek mercy. I am able then to be merciful toward that one closest to me. When was the last time you asked God for forgiveness for having failed to love your spouse as you ought to? Unhappiness in a marriage is often directly attributed to stubbornness and a refusal to admit a wrong. God loves to comfort those who come to Him in contrition and repentance.
The meek are those who do not use what they have, what they know, or what they are to hurt others. They instead bring everything God has given them to help others. The husband or wife who uses his or her abilities, graces, and gifts for the sake of the other will rule with Christ in the kingdom. Do you tend to ride roughshod over the feelings and desires of your spouse? Meek people are not weak people. They are the truly strong. They place everything at God’s disposal for the spiritual well-being of others. Have you attempted to make your spouse feel stupid for not knowing something you know (or think you know)? That’s not meekness.
Those who hunger and thirst after righteousness have an appetite for God. The husband or wife must first and foremost pursue God. As you seek after God, fulfillment will be given by God. Your spouse cannot give meaning to your life. Only your experience with God can do that. An insatiable appetite for God takes a marriage to heights previously unknown. The spiritual heights of intimacy, friendship, mutual sacrifice, shared goals, and a life for the glory of God will never be scaled by those whose appetite is for self-fulfillment.
Merciful husbands and wives look upon their spouses with compassion. Tender regard for a fellow sinner will be reciprocated. When you see your spouse hurting seek to ease the hurt. Don’t exploit it. A husband is never more masculine than when he comes to the aid of his wife in pain. “Sometimes the manliest thing to do is doing the ‘unmanly’ thing” (a quote from my granddaughter, Meredith, when she was eight years old). Notice how often the compassion of Jesus is mentioned in the Gospels. A home becomes a soft place to land when merciful people live there.
The pure in heart do not allow their thoughts to stray beyond the sexual bonds of marriage. Protect and ensure intimacy with your spouse by watching over your heart with all diligence. Intimacy with God will drive me to purity of mind. It has been said that “the heart is never neutral toward Jesus Christ. It is either moving closer toward Him or away from Him.” The pure in heart are on a journey to becoming totally occupied with the person of Jesus Christ. A husband is pure in heart when he resolves day by day to live out the values of God’s kingdom. A wife is pure in heart when she values what is real, important, and eternal and is unsatisfied with sham, deceit, or any hint of hypocrisy. Nothing is more beautiful than a husband and wife walking hand in hand towards heaven’s gates with the clear vision of loving and living God’s truth.
The peacemakers are those who refuse to live in disharmony with those around them. The husband or wife who wants to be called a son of God does not provoke strife and will not allow it to rule their home. Is it not painful to hear a woman criticize her husband to other women? Is it not an ugly thing to see a marriage break up on the shoals of anger, strife, and bitterness? What’s going on behind the doors of your home, husbands and wives? Are you tolerating a lack of reconciliation with your spouse over that difference you had last week (month, year)? Sweet is that relationship that does not let the sun go down on anger.
The persecuted are those suffering hurt because of their allegiance to Jesus Christ. If the husband or wife endures pain in marriage, let it be because it is a blow against Christ not because it is a result of sin. This is kingdom living. There are married couples who live in different spiritual universes. This is not the way it is supposed to be, but it happens. And more often than not, it is the Christian who suffers because of his or her faith in Jesus Christ. A lack of compatibility in things that matter most, namely, the supremacy of Jesus Christ and the sufficiency of His Word can be a heavy weight on the heart. If you are there, resolve to be joyful in God’s service and devoted to your life’s partner.
Love is to go together with marriage. Make it so in your own life. “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (Jn. 13:35). That is the kind of marriage that meets with God’s approval. Live by God’s principles, and enjoy the romance.
Dr. Howard E. Dial
Berachah Bible Church
